THE CABBAGE/CASH CONNECTION

If you wanna make sure you have more cash on hand in 2008, don't pull a bank job, tie on your "To Hell With Housework" apron and get into the kitchen!

You'll need a full head of cabbage. I like 'em light green, leaves tight and curled around, with a lot of squiggle-marks, like alien brains.

Take a sharp knife and whack the cabbage in half, Samurai style. Accompaniment with loud, gutteral yelp always makes this action a little more satisfying!

Then, holding the cabbage firmly in one hand, get your knife a-workin', shredding the cabbage into thin layers, the way Dee Dee Ramone used to play bass. Just whale on it!

Heat up a blop or two of olive oil and a generous pat of unsalted butter in a sauce pan, and throw the shredded cabbage in.
Cover and simmer on low, stirring occaisionally.

Add in to taste: fresh cracked pepper, seal salt, a little celery seed and some dill. Fresh dill is preferable, but dried works just as well. Toss it around a little, add in a bit more butter if you want, but don't let it get too heavy. You want it a little decadent, a little abundant, cause this cabbage is a representation of the cash you're gonna be generating this year!

Keep an eye on it- when the shredded cabbage has turned see-though, remove from the heat,drizzle a tad of fresh lemon juice over it, take a bite straight from the sauce pan and start fantasizing about your new, rightful place on the Fortune 500.